Girl Trip: Newport, Rhode Island

After my 2 day trip to Cape Code (October 2015), I went with my mom, grandmother, and sister Rachel to Newport, Rhode Island for a girl's trip. 

Over the long weekend, we enjoyed walking on the beach, touring mansions of wealthy families, and watching the tide. It was special getting to spend quality time with three of my favorite ladies. So many memories made over laughing until we cried and having sweet conversations.

Happy Birthday, John Mark!

 May 29 marks one year with this sweet boy. Lucky me, he and his mom (Rachel) came for a visit a few weeks before his birthday and I got to try my hand at taking baby portraits. I must say, it was quite the challenge. But he is as cute as a button. Turns out, babies are more into natural poses and kinda like the free spirit vibe when modeling.

 For his first birthday party, he had a Peter Rabbit-themed party. It was adorable, complete with carrot cake, "meat pies", and bunny tails. We spent the afternoon at my sister's new home and hung out with family and friends. It was a sweet time!

The airplane was a hit!

Loved eating his cake!

All of the guests wrote notes to John Mark for him to open in a few years. 

The whole family (minus Seth) got to be together for the first time in like 2 years!

My Day in Cape Cod

Back in October 2016 (sorry for the radio silence the past...oh, 18-20 months...), I met my mom, grandmother, and sister Rachel for a girl's weekend trip in New England. Thanks to my lovely work schedule, I didn't have work on Fridays, so I could freely take long weekends. The trip was planned so that we would all meet in Providence, Rhode Island on Saturday afternoon. However, always the adventurer, I wanted to take my one extra day of vacation. So I decided to go to Cape Cod.

Having heard a lot about Cape Cod from studying travel books and watching the Travel Channel, I wanted to see what all the talk was about. About 3 years ago, my family went to Martha's Vineyard for Fall Break. I remember driving through one of the towns in Cape Cod and wishing I had more time.
I still can't believe I rented a car by myself and drove into uncharted territory, armed with my iPhone map directions. I felt like I was totally free. Until I realized my car did not have cruise control and the Rhode Island/Massachusetts speed limit changes without much warning. I did not get a ticket, thankfully, but if I had, it would have been an innocent mistake.
I headed from the Providence airport to Sandwich, Massachusetts. According to my brief research (this trip was totally improvised, which is not typically my style), Sandwich was the first town in Cape Cod and had a lot of charm. So I went and had lunch at "The Greatest Sandwichery of Sandwich". How could I not?! Then I went to the Ice Cream Sandwich for a treat. Since it was the end of the season, all of the locals were getting their gallons of ice cream to hold them over until summer. I got the scrapings of the barrel, but it was still tasty.

Next I headed to the beach. I had seen pictures of the vast New England beaches. I pulled up in my Ford Fiesta and walked around for a while. Then, I headed across the Cape and went to Falmouth. I walked along the beachwalk for a while. The entire day was slow and peaceful. I did what I wanted when I wanted for how long I wanted. For dinner, I walked around the sweet town of Falmouth. There were many little shops and restaurants. I ran into a French bakery and got a croissant for dinner. Traveling by myself was fun overall, but I didn't like eating by myself. Felt weird.

I checked into my hotel Green Harbor Inn to make sure I could get there. It was a fine motel. Very quaint in a New England way. It was weird having a hotel room by myself. So I stayed up to odd hours of the night watching Family Feud to keep up a racket.

The next morning, I went back into Falmouth for breakfast at a diner I had looked up. I met my grandmother and mom (they had been at Martha's Vineyard and ferried back over) at a gas station before we headed back to Providence. It was a fun weekend, and I'd love to go back! I felt really brave for renting a car by myself and exploring a new place. I love a good adventure!

Identify

"Identify" is an annual baptism our church does. It was such a sweet, special day to see so many in our church family come forward with their decisions to publicly declare their faith through baptism.
The Clinton campus had ours at Camp Down Range just outside of Clinton. It was a great day!

Djiallo and Veronique

As I sit in my house in America with luxuries like an alarm system, automatic bill pay, vacuum cleaner, dishwasher, and laundry machine, I am reminded of 4 months ago when I did not have such creature comforts. This post is an ode to our staff/extended family in Ouaga we left behind. The individuals that helped our transition to a new place a little easier and were my first Burkinabe friends. When you have people in your house every day, they become like family. 

  First, Djiallo, fondly known as DD to me, was our guard. Pictured above was the family's first selfie ever. It's 2015, y'all. DD invited us to his house our last week in Burkina. Funny, he came to our house nearly every night for 2 years and we finally got an invitation to his. His wife pulled out the cushioned seats, his children brought me little magazines about Jesus they received in Operation Christmas Child boxes, and his sister gave us bags (and bags and bags) of peanuts. Oh DD, what a sweet memory to leave on.

Forget the nights when he came to work hours late, left some mornings hours too early, stole our ladder, forgot to pay our bills (to the point we almost didn't have electricity for a few days), and parked his bush taxi in our garage. Gone are the days when he critiqued my housekeeping and harassed my dog. I joked with him about coming prepared to work with his rug for prayer, rice for dinner, and pillow for sleeping. We were never robbed (that we are aware of), so I guess DD did his job.

Why did we have a guard? I get this question a lot. Everyone (even Burkinabe) has a guard (or two!). He slept soundly on our front porch every night. Also, he was able to provide for his family from the salary he received.

Veronique. What a special woman! This wonderful lady washed our clothes and helped in our house for two years. These are not light chores. At first, I was against getting house help and said "I'm 25 years old, ain't no sense in it..." Yeah yeah yeah. I walked outside to fill up my bucket to wash clothes one time, and I decided that day to look for someone to help. Veronique is a widow who lived in our neighborhood and went to a local Baptist church. Her husband passed away several years ago, and her sons had to drop out of school to help provide for the family. She has her four children plus grandchildren plus her mother living in her compound. Having worked for expats before, she was the provider in her family and they relied on her income. I am so thankful for her always being willing to practice French with me and listen to me muddle through practicing Bible stories. She knew stories by heart and would complete my sentences. She was quick to ask for God's blessings in every situation. V was always super thankful for any favor paid and appreciated everything. I learned a lot about gratefulness and seeing God's provision through my friendship with her. In addition to being a good friend to me, she was a great friend to Maggie. Mags was not too fond of Burkinabe, but Veronique and little pup got along great. Maggie would go to the door and wait for V to come to work. V would shake Mags' paw and throw her toys. It took me a while to housebreak Mags because V would clean up Mags' messes so the pup didn't get in trouble. It was a sweet friendship.

Hobbits, Mordor, and Pumpkins

During our Debrief and Renewal conference (DAR), we talked a lot about transition and "all the feels" involved. The feelings of being settled to unsettled to chaos to re-settled to settled ring true for me. I was weary from change. Change had driven me into the ground where I laid emotionless and numb. I was over it. After months of packing, traveling, and nesting, I feel like I can look back and see how this season of transition progressed and matured me.

I want to remind you of a familiar story. Think back to the ending of Return of the King in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Frodo and friends return to the Shire. As they ride their ponies down the paths through the lush fields, they receive scowls from others and are avoided by neighbors. That night, the troop finds themselves in a bar, sitting in silence. None of them are talking, but they are rather staring off, processing the adventure they just went through. The other hobbits are having a good ol' time in the pub. The most exciting part is when someone brings in a giant pumpkin. 

Talk about an uproar---Look at that pumpkin! The partygoers begin kissing and touching the pumpkin. Oh, the pumpkin. Frodo and friends remain silent, undemanding of attention, and take in the scene. See video: ROTK Ending Video

They just returned from Mordor for crying out loud!

Let's look at this story from a missionary experiencing re-entry and transition. As I sat in our session and watched this video, I instantly related and wanted to shout "Who cares about a freaking pumpkin?" But that makes me sound like a crazy person. When we got back, I felt like there were a lot of pumpkins entering my pub. A lot of obnoxious questions like "what are you doing now?" and "are you ready to have kids now?". There were distractions that kept me from processing my emotions. There were people I needed who saw the pumpkin as more interesting.  I wanted so badly to be fine and reserved in emotions. I wanted to respond with "I just got back from Mordor (eh, Burkina...Mordor is a stretch)" and hope that would stop the pumpkin invasion. 

 As the video continues, you see Frodo and friends transition back into their lives at the Shire. It takes them a while until they are fully back into the swing of things. This reminds me to be kind to myself as I go through this experience of chaotic change. Another thing I see in this story is that Frodo isn't alone. He's got his Mordor crew to relate with. I've got those folks too! We had great friends during our time in Burkina.

Transplanting is a laborious process. 4 months after return, I still have feelings of not really being "home" yet. I got so used to temporary. I still identify feelings of loss and grieve over accepting these losses. I had community and strong friendships, discipling relationships within the youth group, time with Seth, and an identity on the mission field (more to come on that). I am still re-establishing myself and trying to integrate into my new home.

All that being said: I love Mordor and the Shire, but I can only live in one. The process isn't easy.

Glossary of Must-Know Burkina Phrases

*Looking through some old drafted posts and found some that were never posted*


Sometimes when going to a new country, people want to learn "survival phrases", key words that will make their stay easier. French-y French and Burkina French have a few differences. Beyond the basics of "please", "thank you", and "how are you", here are some essential phrases you should know upon coming to Burkina:

1.  Sap sap! -- Quickly! in the local language. People joke about "Africa Time" and the slowness of life. Sometimes, like when you are crossing the road or want something to eat, you'll hear this phrase shouted, and your ears will perk up!

2. Ça va aller! -- Life goes on! Too true. It can be easy to let the small difficulties in life get you down and make you blue. I keep this phrase in my back pocket when my tire goes flat, the power goes out, and the water is cut. Life has to continue, and nothing lasts forever...even if it feels like it will.

3. Ça va pas! -- Um, that's not ok. This is often the passive aggressive statement a Burkinabe makes when he wants you to straighten up.

4. ...la chose la! -- That thing there. Yup, direct translation. If you know this phrase, you will never need to learn another vocabulary word. Just point and shout out this phrase.

5. J'arrive! or J'arrive tout de suite! -- I'm coming or I'm coming right away! I know these phrases look similar but apparently there is a difference. When you call the tailor because he is 45 minutes late and he says "J'arrive!", you can go ahead and add on 15 minutes. "J'arrive" means "Let me finish my tea, refuel my moto, and head that direction"; "J'arrive tout de suits" means "I am on my way".

6. C'est bon, mais ce n'est pas arrive! -- It's good, but it isn't there yet. This phrase always emerges with my bargaining skills. Vendors say this when I make a counteroffer and they aren't satisfied. After this phrase, I stand there with a blank look until they counter my counteroffer.

7. Ça va? Et la famille? Et les enfants?  Et le travaille? Et les activités? Et la maison? Et maman et papa aux Etats-Unis? Et....(other aspects of one's personal life)? -- How are you? Your family? Your work? Your activities? Your home? Your parents in America? Burkinabe love greetings and extend them as much as possible. When seeing a friend for the first time in a while, better buckle down for a lot of hand shaking and head nodding plus the response which is....

8. Tout ça va! -- It's all good! The desired response to every question.

9. Quoi? -- What?! Quick informal "come again/what did you say". Possibly my favorite phrase.

10. Que Dieu vous bénisse -- May God bless you. I love when Burkinabe say this phrase constantly. They love soaking up God's blessings and wish them freely on others!

Job Status: Employed

Many have asked, and I finally have an answer. I do have a job.

As of the second week of August (yes, a week and half before classes started), I got my old job back at MC. I am teaching at the Intensive English Program with the Office of Global Education. I loved my job before we went to BF, and I'm grateful to be welcomed back. The work is part-time as I am finishing my last semester of classes with USM for my Masters.

I will be teaching Writing/Grammar (Level 4), French for Beginners, and MC Survival Skills. While all of the classes will be fun, I am looking forward to trying my hand at teaching French. I've always been the student, so I get a new hat. Pretty excited about that! Stay tuned to know how it goes!

Giving it up

In church a few weeks ago, our pastor put us into small groups for a share time. I tend to shy away from things like this, using the excuse of keeping my private thoughts private and having a sense of mystery. However, I was in a group with Seth and our pal Wilson. So my excuses were useless.

The question of the night was "If God called you to give up everything to follow Him, could you do it? What are things you would want to hold on to? What are your idols that hold you back from submitting?"

I immediately had that moment where I wanted to shout "It is all worth it!"

I think back to two years ago when Seth and I stepped off that smelly plane in the middle of a heavy rain. I was slapped in the face with heat (despite the rain), darkness (Ouaga airport is not well lit), and just utter shock. I kept thinking "Oh dear, we've done it now..."

We did it. We committed. We gave it all up. We stood at the airport with our 4 suitcases in a new country. No one knew us as far as our first and last names, and family was an ocean away. I felt stripped.

Flash forward to sitting in our church thinking of what that looks like to "give it all up". It sounds prideful to say "I've done that before", but it's different now. A little over 3 months back and I have a house filled with cold air, a fridge packed with leftovers from restaurants and chicken breasts, and a big screen TV with over 50 English channels. I get to drive my new car 5 minutes down the road to my job where I get all the free Cups coffee I can drink, a faculty parking spot, and a computer with super speedy internet. I come home to my dog and take her for walks in my neighborhood (where no one points at us, wild dogs don't chase us, and we occasionally get to walk through sprinklers!). Don't even get me started on the conveniences of cooking or washing clothes/dishes. I get giddy. I have a new appreciation for all of these things now that I didn't before. Before Burkina, I expected it, wasted it, or paid no attention to it.

The question of "giving it up" is now a thing of the past and needs a new look in my present. I did give up a lot of things 2 years ago, but I got them all back. This is NOT the case for a lot of people returning from the field, and I thank God every day for providing these things for us. Now I have to figure out---what does it look like to be stripped in my new normal?

I could give up all my new comforts, but in America that isn't seen as sane. To live in a hut, ride a bike, wear the same outfit 3 days in a row, wash clothes in a bucket, and have no electricity. In fact, I'm pretty sure you are dubbed as a hobo or hippie (same thing?).

All that to say, I'm realizing being stripped and giving things up for God doesn't have to be physical. It was a physical sacrifice in Burkina, but in the US it is more of an emotional sacrifice. A sacrifice to the every day. A sacrifice of self.
I have to give up my control--I love my independence, but I need to let God be in charge.
I have to give up my time--life in America is fast-paced and overbooked, but I need to give God ultimate control over my time.
I have to give up my comfort zone--I can sit in the midst of my international students all day, but I need to show God's love or it's for nothing.
I have to give up my desire--I want to do God's work but on my schedule. I need to be all-in, committed daily to seeking opportunities to share the Gospel.

It's not about me. It wasn't about me then, and it's not about me now. I still have a lot of things to figure out and unpack. Those thoughts of reentry and transition. Being the new and improved Rebecca in a familiar, comfortable place. I've gotta keep stripping away myself to make sure God stays on the throne of my life.

Debrief and Renewal Conference

Much thanks to our M friends who encountered the challenge of reentry before us and advised us to sign up for DAR (Debrief and Renewal) with MTI in Colorado. The conference took place at a center tucked away near Monument, Colorado. We met in groups (see our group in the picture below) in the mornings and had individual sessions in the afternoons. Our evenings were free to relax, and it was so good. We hitch a ride to a bowling alley one night with some of our new friends, went on a Goodwill adventure, and tagged along on an ice cream run. We like to be in community, can ya tell?! Oh, and it was cold. Like 60s to low 80s. It was delightful, and I wore a coat the whole time. Still adjusting to the weather! We really enjoyed every aspect---spiritual, social, and mental. I came back totally refreshed. 

What an incredible blessing for us to be with like-minded folks in our exact season. As we put it in training, they're my "tribe"! I think of tribes in Burkina---they are recognized by markings on their face (often slashes on their cheeks), language, cultural quirks, and close bonds. I share all of these things with this group of people---except facial scars---after a matter of 6 days. We might not have scars on ours face, but we all have scars of a different kind, if you will. We have been marked by our journeys overseas and continue to live with the impact. We spent the week sharing in group and individual settings about our stories. 

Go Blue Group! Our group was pretty much the best. We hung out and went on ice creams runs throughout the week. Only a group of Ms can form bonds so quickly and bare their souls to one another the way this group did in a matter of days. I was incredibly thankful for a group I could be transparent with and share openly about my time on the field. I loved getting to move past the "How was Africa?" (which the desired response is always "so great"...) questions and move into deeper, intentional conversations. The conference was a positive experience, and I strongly recommend it to anyone returning from significant time on the field!

Everyday, we had different topics to focus on during our group session. We discussed transition, stress, reentry, soul care, and saying goodbye. I felt like I was constantly reminded that my feelings upon return are normal (not something I have felt until this week) and expected. One exercise I greatly enjoyed was writing out different stressors on the field. We categorized stress in multiple categories: daily hassles, life events, traumatic events, situational stress, and how it makes us feel looking back now. I loved hearing different missionaries who served all over the world voice stressors that I too experienced on another continent on the other side of the world. Hassles such as hearing the mosque sound off 5x a day EVERY day plus things always being broken plus having language barriers plus driving plus corruption plus foreign vermin (roaches, ants, rats, scorpions, and bush dogs) plus unfamiliar food plus farm animals in the middle of highways plus water/food/electricity shortages. All of these things are considered DAILY hassles on the field. After we each said one (or a few), nods around the room affirmed that we weren't the only ones stressed because we had to take a flip flop to the bathroom at night to knock lizards off the toilet. At the end of the exercise, our leader asked us to think of a person in our lives (family, close friend) who has never been overseas. They went on to ask how this person would respond to these stressors. I know my person would easily categorize my daily hassles as traumatic. I had never thought of that and realized that's why some people struggle with how to respond to my telling of our experience. I feel like I gained a lot of vocabulary for emotions and circumstances I've been dealing with and can better express myself now.

At our conference, we had some 20 "units" (so families, couples, and singles) represented. We had come from all over the world and each from a different organization. From the mountains of Dominican Republic to the beaches of Fiji to the rainforest of Thailand to the urban areas of Indonesia, the nations were represented in full force. We shared tales of eating weird local food (one man ate a duckling...still in the egg!) and night guards and revolutions and getting terribly sick in a third world country. These are conversations I haven't had since Burkina. Conversations that would make most people stateside feel awkward, but in this group it came natural. Everyone contributed.
When I first suggested the conference back in like February (I'm a planner...), Seth was wary of the whole "sanity camp for missionaries" and thought everyone would be weird. Only upon leaving did we realize "everyone seemed totally normal...maybe we were the weird ones". And that's ok.

One thing I have realized since being back and at our conference is it is ok to not feel normal. I want to embrace my change. If I lived in the desert for two years and came back the same, I didn't do it right. God rocked my world (good and difficult ways), and I am affected. The past two years have had moments of trauma, defeat, loneliness, and victory. I've had days I had to drag myself out of bed and days when I couldn't sleep from excitement. I've had "all the feels". But the best feeling is knowing I was living in God's perfect plan. When that happens, all else is surface level. But that's another post entirely...

Debriefing is so important. I almost feel this post is a debrief of our debrief, but more posts will come based on what I'm still learning. Debrief helped us process through our first weeks of reentry and gain vision for our future. I find myself exhausted by the question "What are you doing now?" as opposed to "What have you been doing?" I currently am far more passionate about what I was doing than present. Leaving the field was not an easy decision, but we knew it was time. I wish people would ask more about Burkina and less about my unknown. Coming back from the field is as big of a leap of faith than going to the field. I say this because you have a good idea of what you'll be doing when you sign up. You at least have a place and job title.  Of course, it changes---but you have direction. Upon returning, I didn't have that same sense of vision. That's where debrief comes in to help me reflect on what I've learned and how to use it in my next steps.

Last (and off topic), shoutout to my awesome parents for watching Maggie for the week we were gone. Y'all are the best!

Pikes Peak

 On the morning our conference began, we took a quick trip to Pikes Peak outside of Colorado Springs. We had heard of a train that took you to the top, but when I heard that you could drive to the top I didn't know why we'd do it any other way. What fun times---me and my honey cruising up one of the biggest mountains in America. Um. It was scary, y'all. Hairpin curves with sheer drops and no rails. It was intense. But we just sang along to Coldplay and proceeded with caution. At our conference, we told some of the other Ms we drove instead of taking the Cog Train and they were like "Are you serious? That's so dangerous". Was it? Have we lost all sense of danger and just call it adventure instead? Oops. Reentry problems.

Seth and I had some good giggles at the bikers riding DOWN the mountain. Apparently, it's thing to ride a bus up the mountain and bike down. We joked about how lazy is that? from the comfort of our CAR. Not sure we had a lot of room to judge...

 There's a lot of talk about the donuts on top of Pikes Peak. They make it with some magical flour or something that only works at a certain altitude. Not sure about all that, it honestly just tasted like an unglazed donut. BUT we did get some tasty coffee and took a few minutes to look at God's handiwork. It was a glorious few minutes.

 Sweet selfie on top of Pikes Peak

 We got our classic "We came to a national park in America" picture taken. There were about a dozen families in line, but none of them had complete parties. I thought "Ah this is going to take forever".  Seth and I jumped up there with our party of 2 and snapped our pic. As we drove away, some families were still waiting for the dad to return with coffee or were gathering all the children. Oh the perks of our party of 2!

Snow in July?! Indeed. And we had to take our picture in it. Sweet Seth in his shorts, me in my tennis shoes. Yes, the snow took us by surprise, but we never pass up the opportunity to make a snowball!